


The Scarecrow and Mr. Pines

by burglebezzlement



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: CW: Glitter, Crows, Extra Treat, Extreme Crafting, Family, Gen, Gravity Falls-style Gardening, Prophecy Beans, Scarecrows, Trick or Treat: Chocolate Box
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-23 06:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12500540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burglebezzlement/pseuds/burglebezzlement
Summary: When crows start eating his prophecy bean crop, Ford realizes he needs a scarecrow. Mabel offers to help.





	The Scarecrow and Mr. Pines

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Healy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Healy/gifts).



> This story takes place between Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons and Weirdmageddon. Happy Trick or Treat!

Ford has managed to tangle himself in the light, fly-away fabric that the woman at the hardware store called reemay when Dipper comes into the garden.

“Hey,” Dipper says. His voice cracks a little at the end. “You need a hand?”

“Thanks.” Ford lets Dipper help untangle him. Once they've got the fabric straightened out again, Dipper holds down one end while Ford weights it down with rocks, fussing at the edges until the little patch of dirt he dug and planted is perfectly covered.

Dipper watches him. “Not that it’s any of my business, Great-Uncle Ford, but… what’s this for?” 

Ford stands up and looks off into the distance. “Prophecy beans, my boy.”

“EEEEEE!” Dipper clasps his hands in front of his chest. He makes a visible effort to release them and then coughs. “I mean… that’s cool.”

“They come from the seventh moon of the Axtlar Empire,” Ford says. “I have but a few remaining. And I figured I could grow more, but those damn crows keep eating them.”

“Right.” Dipper nods. “You know what you need? A scarecrow.”

“Would that work?”

“Maybe,” Dipper says. “You could ask Mabel to help you.”

He runs back to the Mystery Shack, while Ford weights down the edges of the reemay with more rocks.

A lone crow lands on the fencepost, its voice a rusty croak. WHEN THE SEEING EYE OPENS, ALL WILL RUN RED WITH BLOOD.

Ford narrows his eyes. “Stop eating my beans.”

* * *

When Ford gets back to the Mystery Shack, Dipper’s already told Mabel all about the scarecrow. “Don’t worry, Grunkle Ford,” Mabel says. She heaves an enormous box of junk labeled CRAFT SUPPLIES onto the kitchen table. “We’ve got this.”

“Thank you for the help,” Ford says. “I’m not sure if a scarecrow can scare off Gravity Falls crows, though.”

“Trust me,” Mabel says. She digs through another box filled with torn fabric and dried vegetation. “I might need a few more things to really make this scarecrow sizzle, though.”

“Whatever I can provide,” Ford says.

Mabel studies him. “You can drive, right?”

* * *

It’s been years since Ford piloted anything as low-tech as the Stanmobile, but after hitting a few potholes and running off the side of the road once, it comes right back to him. “It’s fine,” Mabel tells him. “Nobody will notice a few dents in this car.”

The outskirts of Gravity Falls are a surprise. What used to be forest is now filled with chain restaurants like Yumberjacks and an enormous, sprawling structure called the Gravity Falls Mall. Mabel directs him to a boxy structure that sits across the parking lot from the Mall. Out front, there are baskets holding enormous yarn balls and twig wreaths.

“We’re going to buy a scarecrow here?” he asks.

“Of course not.” Mabel laughs. “We’re going to buy the supplies to make one!” She grabs his hand and pulls him through the craft store’s door, and Ford’s surprised to find that… it’s not terrible.

His grand-niece surveys the craft store like Walkyrine, Lord of the Shadow-People, surveyed a battlefield before the carnage. 

“Get a carriage,” she hisses. “We’re going in.”

There seems to be a method to Mabel’s madness. When she finds the first pair of wings, she nods in satisfaction and adds them to the cart. But as she finds each successive pair of wings, she narrows her eyes, looks between the two sets, and then selects the new pair.

They end up with the first set of wings in the end.

Mabel goes through the entire craft store three times, and then goes back to spend more time in certain sections. Like glitter. She spends a lot of time looking at glitter. 

When she’s finally done, the cart is heaped with supplies. Ford can’t imagine how half of them could be part of a scarecrow. 

“Uh…” Mabel looks up at the register. “It might cost kinda a lot, Grunkle Ford.”

Ford’s frozen, remembering all those times on the run when he had to leave somewhere because he had no money in his pocket, wallet, DodecaTimeCardMax (Savings Guaranteed!), rock quarry account, or other local currency receptacle. But then he remembers: This is Earth. He’s home.

And his twin brother has been earning money in his name for years, which means the little plastic card in his wallet with Stanford Pines imprinted on it is rightfully his.

“Buy it, Mabel,” he says, sweeping his hand over the cash wrap counter, which is filled with Styrofoam, wings, feathers, strangely colored rectangles, and more. “Buy it all.”

* * *

Mabel starts scarecrow construction as soon as they’re back at the Shack.

Ford tries to make suggestions, but Mabel waves them all off, even the ones that are very reasonable and involve structural integrity. The… thing… she’s creating falls over repeatedly, but she always redirects and finds something (a big stick, one of Dipper’s Hardly Boys mystery books, a red Solo cup) to re-support the structure.

At one point Ford is pretty sure he sees _glitter_ being used as a structural element. He stops making helpful suggestions after that. 

What does happen is this: sometimes Mabel steps back, holds her hands up in right angles to her face, and squints. 

And then she turns to him. “What do you think, Grunkle Ford?”

He tries to tell her. Sometimes he’s not sure and sometimes he has no idea, but he tries to be honest, and the way her face lights up when he says he thinks it could use more glitter makes his heart feel unexpectedly warm.

* * *

Mabel insists on holding a grand unveiling ceremony in the garden. She whips the velvet cloak from the scarecrow’s form, and Ford has to squint against the dazzling sunshine sparkling off more glitter than one scarecrow should be able to hold. The crows take off, muttering indistinct prophecies as they fly away.

Ford grins. “It works! Good job, Mabel.” He pats her on the head, trying to ruffle her hair the way Stan does, but losing his nerve at the last minute.

Dipper shakes his head. “It looks great, Mabel, but do you really think it’s going to scare off the crows once they get used to it?”

“Ah, ah, ah!” Mabel bounces over. “Way ahead of you, Dippin’ Dots.” She pulls on a thin trip wire that runs around the garden, and lights flash from the Mystery Shack.

Stan’s voice booms out of a hidden loudspeaker in the grass. “Get out of my garden, you damn beautiful men!”

“Hahaha!” Stan reaches down and ruffles Mabel’s hair. “That’s great, sweetie!”

“I got a whole bunch of Grunkle Stan classics on tape,” Mabel says proudly. “Grunkle Stan in a box: the only thing that can keep boy band clones out of your garden!”

“It looks great,” Ford says, and he’s surprised at how happy he is when Mabel smiles at him, too. With the Pines family together, they can get ready for anything Bill can throw at them.


End file.
